Keep these three in your back pocket today. A fresh set appears each day.
1. Talk 30%, listen 70%
Good conversation isn't about talking well — it's about listening well. If the other person walks away feeling they got to speak freely, the conversation succeeded. These cards are simply a way to draw them out.
2. The five-step expansion
① React — "Wow!" "Really?" — be surprised first ② Echo — "Oh, you're into fishing?" — repeat their words back ③ Empathize — "I get that." "That sounds lovely." ④ Praise — "That's impressive." "You really know your stuff." ⑤ Ask — "So what happened next?"
Run through these in order and people open right up. "Echo" (②) is the simplest way to show you're truly listening.
3. Easy reactions to keep ready
"Wow." / "I had no idea." / "That's amazing." / "Good for you." / "Is that so."
4. When silence falls
Silence isn't failure. Don't panic — either (1) compliment one thing you can see, or (2) say "That reminds me…" and reach for another card. Either is plenty.
5. Three topics to avoid
Politics & religion — don't wade into what divides Bragging — if you must share, share a flop; people love a good failure story Prying — age, income, family status: don't ask until they offer
6. A parting line
"It was really good talking with you." "I'd love to hear more sometime." The last line plants the seed for the next conversation.
A memory aid
FORD — when you're stuck, think Family, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams.
These cards come from a Japanese saying, "Kido ni tatekakeshi, ishokujū," a mnemonic for the safe topics of easy small talk: weather, hobbies, news, travel, family, health, work, clothing, food and home.